Hey!

Listening to some weakerthans, eating mini marshmallows. Mmmm. Kaia's coming over soon, after her pom squad pictures and shit. Improv show tonight! Score! I think this weekend might be a good one. Kaia's here! She's all cute from poms squad pictures. I'm listening to soul coughing, which is just awesome music. Yay. I love the beats in this song . . . in all thier songs.

Well, I think I'm done. Later.

MY NEW COLORS ROCK!

Go me. :)

This computer is so slow . . . I'm in study hall right now taking political quizzes on quizilla and making my blog prettier. Realllll ybored. I have no idea when this class gets out. Probably soon, we've been in it forever. I really hope 7th hour doesn't go really long, because I absolutely despise that class. It is SO boring, and all the people in it are boring and/or inept except for Brianna and a couple others. I want to shoot myself all hour.

Well I think I'm going to work on my blog template now, maybe spruce it up a little bit. Seeya.

I had a most amazing evening . . .

Woohoooooooooo, study hall time! I'm chillin' here with a very interesting english class-we've got issa, frank, didi, boner, brianna, and lots of other cool people. No fair. My english class sucks monkey balls. Woohoo, Issa's blogging right next to me . . . double blog! Gasp.

I feel cute today.

My legs have been itching all day--what's with that? Well at least it's a good day today, I'm going to hang with connor today after school, this time i think it will actually happen instead of . . . not happening. Ha. I really can't read Issa's hand writing.

Always fouuy raar pretty akewel in the reeve up equality!

That's what her last line looked like to me. Wow. Apparently not.

MY APBIO BIO PAPER KICKS ASS! I got a bit carried away and wrote a lot of paragraphs instead of two . . . it's exciting, though! I'm so motivated today! Go me! Seriously, I have this really wonderful take-charge academic attitude. In some ways, at least. I'm going for the B in precalc instead of the A--I'd have to get 96 percent on the final to get an A. Not gonna happen. So now all I need is 6 percent! And in one of my hardest classes! One less final I need to study for. Yay! Hehe.

Ooooh! I figured out my schedule for interlochen, i sent it in today. Here it is:

Semester one:

1.playwriting
2.intro to fiction
3.writing workshop
4.lunch!
5.choir
6.american political process
7.free hour!
8.apcalc
9.chemistry

Semester Two:

1.free hour!
2.writer in residence; stone soup
3.writing workshop
4.lunch
5.choir
6.intro to poetry
7.free hour!
8.apcalc
9.chemistry

Soooooo exciting! Ahhh! Yay! I'm really pumped about next year . . . though I'm really sad about having to leave some people. Sniff. Not cool. But it's going to completely reshape my life--I'm pumped. Wow.

aHHH! Bell.

Connor and I are official!

Whew. I've been waiting for something to happen like that so I could write about this publicly for a long time. Yeah, tonight we finally talked about our little thing, and we decided to make it official. Wow. The best night ever.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

I think I'm going to go think about it some more and be happy. Ha.

I like life.

**smiles**

Wow, I just sneezed way too many times. Craziness. I think I might have a cold, or allergies. Hmmmm. My crazyweird picture with the pile of women made up with Weakerthans pictures is well on its way to being finished--I'm excited to see it when it's all done. And it just started with one woman, lying on the ground .. . now there are **counts** sixteen. And room for more. Woohoo! My pencil's really dull, though, and i don't know if there's a pencil sharpener in here. Hmmmmm. Wow, that's a crazy pencil sharpener; when you use it, it sounds like it's going to eat you.

I don't really have much to say and there are only about 10 minutes left, all of which I believe I'll spend drawing, so I'm over and out.

Later.

Today's been a slightly exciting day. All morning all of the juniors were at some assembly or something so that took some work off my back in precalc. In English I just sat there and read my book cause I haven't yet, so I got outta working in that class too. Choir we just watched ourselves in the pops concert. Now study hall--nice. Only two classes I've had to work in today were APBio and German. And all classes were shorter . . . okay, by five minutes, but still.

It's REALLY COLD.

Lunch was kinda fun--it sucked though cause we couldn't find a restaurant that wasn't packed, so we ended up eating in the "K Cafe" or whatever that sad excuse for a restaurant is in K-Mart. At least it was spent in good company.

So the pops concert last night was actually really fun! I didn't have to do much, and I basically just spent a lot of time hanging out with my friends. Mr. Weishaar came back--I miss him sooo much! He's such a cool guy. He has a girlfriend now though, she's nassssty. Eww. And really young too! She's like 20. Weird. When we sang River in Judea, I got really sad and started crying. Partly it was because the year is almost over and it's been so good, but mostly because I'm going to leave next year. I feel kind of like I'm going off to college. Basically that's what it is--going to college at age 15. Scary. And since I'm not a senior but I'm leaving, I sort of felt like that was my graduation. It was sad. I gave a lot of hugs. And going to Perkins afterwards was sooooo much fun! I was in the weirdest mood, and I just had FUN. Woohoo!

I'm gonna hang out with Connor after school today. That should be really cool. I'm excited. I need to find a way to get the message to my mother, though, cause she'll freak if I just don't come home. Ewww, piano and voice lessons tonight. Not fun. I haven't practiced piano in sooo long. Well I have, but not the piano that I'm supposed to be practicing. Come to think of it, I don't think I've gone to piano lessons in about a month. Oops.

I'm so COLD! I think they think it's warm or something so they have on the air conditioning. Whatever they're doing, I really wish they'd stop. The school is absolutely freezing. I'll have to wash my really dirty Ozma sweatshirt tonight so I can wear it to school tomorrow.

I'm really sad that I lost my ramones sweatshirt! Grrr! I wish I'd have remembered to ask about it at dance right after it happened. Which reminds me--no dance this weekend! Score! Oh, whoah, and it's a three day weekend! I completely forgot about that! Oh wow, I'm so excited. Hmmm, this week has gone by SO slowly. It seems like it's lasted an eternity. I can't wait until the weekend, when I can do more things with people.

I have the taste of bad pizza in my mouth. Hmmmm. I need something yummier. If we had been speedy I'd have a cookie from Connor, but alas we weren't. Hmmmmmmmm. What to eat? Or the question is rather, what do I have that's edible? Not much.

Ahhh, this is great! I'm seated in the library right next to this shelf and I look over and there are all these books on suicide and drugs. It's within my arm reach, so right now the read of the minute is: Drugs and Your Parents, by Rhoda McFarland. Hahahahahaha, on the very front page there is a picture of a 30-some guy snorting cocaine and his son standing in the background--the caption reads, "it is lonely being the child of a chemically dependent parent." I'm not quite sure why that's funny, but it is. Ha. Oh, this one's even better It has a picture of a mother scolding her son and it says, "You never know what to expect when a parent is out of control on drugs." Hahahahaha . . . that's great. The title of this one is called "We Have Aids"! Hee hee.

Uh oh, time to fly . . .

Wow, I actually just spent most of my hour--my free study hall hour--on WISCareers looking up careers and colleges. For fun. I'm so weird sometimes.

My lunch today was super healthy! I felt good eating it. It was a thing of apples and dip, fat free yogurt and apple juice! Woohoo! Usually I eat sooooo badly. It's kinda sad. One day I'm gonna have a heart attack from clogged arteries and just keel over! Ahh!

So today is an awesome day. I still can't believe it's only Wednesday! Last weekend seems ages ago. I have the rubber ducky song stuck in my head! Haha. Rubber ducky i'm awwwwfully fonnnnd of youuuuuuuuuuuuu! Hee. Fun stuff.

The word denotation sounds really mean.

Hmmm, even after my lunch I'm hungry. I think I have an eternally insatiable appetite. That's a lot of vowels. I have the hiccups. So I look like I'm convulsing when I hiccup . . haha. There, I drank some apple juice, maybe they'll go away.

WOW it's cold in this school!

I can't wait for school to be over. Tonight should be pretty fun, with the pops concert and whatnot. I mean, I guess it's just a nce little excuse for me to eat pie. ^_^ Yum! Pie and bratwurst sounds really godo right now. Is there going to be any bratwurst? I sure hope there is, because it sounds quite delicious at the moment. Mmmmm, bratwurst.

I remember in middle school when Becca Seipel and I had codes for different boys, they were all different types of food. For instance, Adam Wagner was root beer because A & W were his initials. Middle school is really funny now that I look back on it. High school can so kick its butt.

Wow, I've changed so much in the past two years! Flashback to the end of eighth grade: me wearing an outfit from american eagle and gap, hanging out with my little preppy friends, listening to the soundtrack of newsies and drooling over eric fischer. THANK GOD Anna Nielsen saved me. I really owe so much to her. I was such a douche back then. Ick.

Class be overrrrr! I want to talk to sommmeone.

Well, I'm gonna sit here and do nothing for 10 more minutes because I have nothing to do. Funnnnnnnnn . . .

The time between now and last Friday has been dragging slower than any other time in my life. I mean, last night seems like 2 weeks ago. It's psycho. I think I've just been so happy, and I have so much to think about and hope for that I spend moments that I would have otherwise been laying fallow, thinking about and absorbing my life right now, and since I'm this perpetually active ball of thoughts and dreams, life seems so much more robust than it ws last Thursday.

Did that make any sense?

Well if you're not confused yet, here's a theory i just came up with.

Music is math. Notes are like numbers tuned to your ears. A 4, for instance, could represent a crescendo, ot the note C. Music can all just boil down to numbers. We have simple equations, and then some amazing people--the grand musical mathmeticians, aka composers--have the ability to create these amazingly complex equations that get under your skin. When you understand them, when you find the variable, you make the music. Musicians know the formulas, they feel the numbers coursing through their veins. When they play, their whole bodies ache with numbers. When you hear somebody who truly understands the equation, then they teach it to you through the music. You hear it, and you understand. It's like opening your eyes to the answer and the answer is finding you and shaking your soul. Numbers add and multiply and the more music you hear, the more are pulsing deep within you with primal rhythm, and they program you. A swaying side to side and a tapping toe seem mechanical, you feel the steady hands of machinery slide through your ears and slip itself into your disk drive, and you belong to the music. The numbers and the music are interchangeable, the sound and the matrices, the rhythm and the logarhythm.

Whoah. I like that.

Today's actually been a pretty exciting day so far! Go me, I was right! I'm wearing a really happy skirt that i haven't worn in quite a bit, and my hair is halfway down and i feel earthy, sort of.

Spent the hour reading fanfic :) It's been a while since the last time i did this.

Pay no attention to this link, it's just for me so i know where i am in the story:

http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=986677&chapter=4

Hehehe . . . it's a really fluffy h/d. Fun.

Ooop! Bell!

This weekend totally exeeds the requirements of a good weekend.

It's a good weekend and a half.

I had two really awesome nights in a row, followed by two hours of dance and watching my sister's recital. I got my film developed too, with pictures of ozma and valleyfair and the party and such. Sweet stuff. I can feel this week coming on as an awesome one. We've got the last week of American Idol (which i'll be gone for, so it's going on tape), the pops concert, glass, the end of the school year nearing . . . I mean, next weekend is a 3 day weekend, and that means . . . 12 days left of school? Really?!? WOW! 12 days left of stuffy memorial high school, then on to something new and fresh and exilherating!

The sad part, though, is leaving people. Sometimes you just don't want to leave, but you have to. I know it's technically my choice to leave, but I just wish I could take some people with me. It will be so hard to not see some people every day . . . well, at least i'll have a phone. And a laptop with internet access. Thank god. Or whatever.

I can't wait for tomorrow. I just have a feeling it's going to be exciting.

Wow, I seem to have a fresh outlook on the world today. Go me.

:)

:D

Hee hee . . . time to stop.

Supergirl grinnnns.

Tonight was . . . so . . . good.

Wow.

I think that's just about all I can say.

So my crotch really itches right now, but I'm in school and scratching is not really an option, so I'm just going to sit here and bear it . . .

The Matrix Reloaded comes out today! Score! And only . . . a week and a month untilThe Order Of The Phoenix! Ahhhhhhhhhh! And only 3 weeks until the last day of school! Wow. Everything's just sneaking up on me now :) Life has been getting increasingly more exciting. Such that I shall share a poem? Yeah. I'd say.

This poem is written from the point of view from somebody that is ordinary in every way.

Sniff.

An Ordinary Lament

You sneer at me.
My supercilious existance
Is critiqued on the notepad in your eye sockets,
Torn off,
and put in a jar underneath your sink.

I'm told to be myself,
let loose,
But all that I after all
Is a sheep.
I'm born to stand in the crowd.

You keep me laying fallow
Until it's time
For you to shear me
And leave me,
Naked,
On the raw earth.

~fin~

I like it, kinda.

I'm listening to Alanis Morisette. She's a really awesome musician. I really like how music sounded back in "her time" (aka . . . 97? Was it? 96?) Back when they played Alanis and Jewel and Green Day and the like. That was pop music in it's prime--now pop is just a shell of what it used to be, full of justin timberlake and missy elliot and shit like that.

I have a huge (okay, actually small, but i'm a wuss) gash on the side of my hand and i don't know how it got there. I'm wondering if I just got it, or if it was on there before and I just didn't notice. It hurts either way.

Just passed Mrs. Froehle while walking across the library. Ohhhh, she hates me, you can tell. Bitch. I have no patience with that woman. I can't wait until next year when I leave her for good and go off to a place where english teachers don't drive you nuts. I hear from the students that the teachers there are so nice and most live on the campus, so they can help you all the time and will have you over for dinner and stuff. I'm hyped.

So what shit is Avril Lavigne trying to pull on the population? Who thinks she's punk except for 10 year old girls and fashion designers? Basically all she's done for society is exploit the punk culture and make everybody think that chucks and ties mean shitty pop. If she said she's what she fucking is, i'd have actual respect for her for keeping her pop to the mainstream style. I have no problems with Christina Aguilera doing what Christina Aguilera wants to do and making the music. But seriously, if Christina suddenly said she was a fucking opera star or something, it'd be fucking insane. And that's what Avril is doing.

My arms hurt from typing. I'm a wuss.

So I really like it when guys with good figures wear snug-fitting shirts. Yum. Ooooh, best case scenario: shaggy haired, tight shirt wearing, british speaking boy. Of course, though, personality overcomes all of that. Otherwise I'd just sit around all day waiting for the next plane to fly in from london and having the cast of detroit rock city walk out.

So I'm really afraid that one day my muse is just going to run dry, and I'll be left alone, nothing to create. Ever again. Sort of like a death before death . . . the hollow men, right mrs. froehle? fuck mrs. froehle, only 3 weeks until I never have to see her sorry face again. Ha.

The ball of my left foot hurts for no reason at all. It should stop.

Hey, but who am I to complain? Look at all that I have, the ball of one of my feet is no tragedy.

Today in English we watched a movie on the dust bowl, and in it they had a scene where there was a crowd of men clubbing little rabbits to death. It was so horrible--you'd see a rabbit get hit, but not die, and it would just sorta lay on the ground, twitching, probably in excrutiating pain, and the man who got him would just move on and club another little rabbit, and leave that one on the ground, in agony. If there was ever a sad point in humanity, there you have it.

So next year one of the stores in my campus has haribo gummies, and I'm going to eat them every day.

And I'm going to Concordia this summer! How exciting! It'll be a bit scary though in two aspects: I don't know that much German and I'm going alone. 2 weeks too! Eeeek. It'll also be sooo scary to go to Interlochen all alone, I hate going somewhere new and having to make new friends. When I don't really know people yet, I do get kinda shy, 'cause I'm afraid I'll make myself look like a complete douche. You know? Eeeek. At least I know some people! Like Ellen and Esther and Rumer, and any other kids I met info weekend that weren't seniors (rumor's the only one i can remember, she's only a frosh but she looked way older).

Rumer's actually been in a movie, color me jealous. She was in striptease with her mom, demi. Wouldn't it be so cool to be in a movie? Someday ;)

You held your breath and the door for me. Thanks for your patience . . . . yay alanis.

Well class is almost over, so I should probably get going. Yep.

Supergirl can't hear a damn thing Jenny is saying and is late for World Studies.

I can't wait until next year when I move away and have a laptop. It'll be nice to find someplace to write that my parents don't read (at least i think they read this one, which is why nothing exciting will ever go in here again).

Wow, a pop-up just popped up saying "win 50 pounds of lobster!"

That's SO cary if you know the lobster joke.

It had little dancing lobsters on it. **shudders**

The song "make our garden grow" that we sing in choir is soooooo pretty. Every time I sing it I just feel . . . beautiful. Making art of any form makes me love myself, and it's the best feeling in the world. I think interlochen is definitely going to be good for me. I'd write more on this subject right now, but my sister is making me play rap music and I can't think. Whoooooah, this rap band is british! I am obsessed with british people. I want to be british SO badly. They just said "oi oi oi oi" , , , ahhhh, british. THEY'RE SO AWESOME!

I think I have a british fetish. Seriously, when I'm older I'm going to make my boyfriends talk in a british accent to get me off. If somebody talks in a british accent i'm just like YUM. When I grow up I'm going to move to London. I think I have to. I just like british boys that much, yes. Then again, I'd just fall for any random asshole cause they all have british accents. . . oi!

THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER DONE.

Graham just let me drive his little lawn mower all over my lawn. WOOHOO!

American Idol time! **looks guilty**

Supergirl whips up some cream and sits in front of the tv

Starved

I hunger,
I thirst,
I eat without shame,
Yet I am not full.
I bite the pit but not the fruit.

Going through my 8th grade email, found this but funny:

(from eric amundson)
I don't really view you as hyper, joking, and sarcastic all the time. I think of you as more of a hyper, guy crazed mental wierdo who enjoys the weirdest hobbies, and 'sports.'


Hahaha, nice eric. Well I'm over n out, but if i find more i'll show ya.

Supergirl yawms and takes a shower.

Right now I just feel SHITTY.

I just have this terrible feeling that everything's falling apart . . . everything. My plans, my plots, my dreams, my opportunities, all just sort of laying fallow off in some field or some warehouse, and i can't quite get there and they're crumbling quickly. Nothing ever lives up to expectations. I've fucked up a lot recently, and i'm wondering if that has to do with anything. I'm just tired and I'm lonely, waiting up for my sister to come home so I can at least hug her and know that not everyone's indifferent.

New poem, called The Mortician.

He traces his breath
Over her body with his eyes
It's clammy with death,
Pungeant with rotting perspiration,
Crusted with seemingly inconsequential blood.

The rough fabric of a dull washcloth
Hangs from his hand, reluctantly wiping
The crimson from her porcelain wrists,
And he wonders why she did it.

Her mother's lips
Her father's nose
Thousands of ancestors
All packed into a 124 pound
Carcass;
It's lighter not that its blood has gone
into the bathtub
and down the drain
to mingle with the sewage.

*fin*
Okay, there's room for improvement, but for now I kinda like it. Here's another one, this one about the day of silence:

One simple act of self expression;
The power of silence,
A ceaseless screaming perpetually audible
In the mind of the opposition.
Know, love and pity thy enemy
For turning working ears to a deaf sound.
Reach out your hands
And cover their ears
so they might see right from wrong,
or at least hear it.

Loss of one sense,
They say,
Triggers the others.
A sort of domino set of
Sight, touch, taste, smell and sound.
Let them hear the silence
As they open their eyes
And discover the truth.

Shhhhh . . .
Can you hear it?

Ozma . . . .what can I say?

One of the most amazing times of my life. I seriously love that band. It's like every song they sing is just beautiful to me . . . part of me wants to shout them off the rooftops, part of me wants to keep my treasure for myself. You see, I figure you can't hear ozma and not like them. So the more people hear, the more mainstream it gets. I like my bands underground :)

Bell . . . . I frittered away my hour reading dirty jokes with ben bonis. haha.

Supergirl decides to make like an apple tree and leaf ;)

I think it's time for another full content entry.

Study hall yet again, sitting and shivering in front of the computer because it's so damn cold in this school. I've been thinking about that last poem I wrote, and what the instructor at interlochen said about being more modern, and I think I could improve it a lot. Well basically rewrite it with a different message, because i really liked some of the passages in it yet I think they could be surrounded by better writing.

I'm addicted to quizilla.

I kinda have to pee too.

Hmmmmmmmm . . .

ONE DAY UNTIL OZMA! Tomorrow I'm going to be watching one of the most amazing bands ever. I'm SO excited. Wow. Yes indeed, a couple of true ozma fans will be seeing them tomorrow night, and we will enjoy it immensely. Score.

You know what sounds kinda funny?

Potted cactus.

Hahahahaha. Potted cactus. Hahaha. Potted cactus. Heh. Heh heh heh.

I'M NOT A PUNK! Not really! I mean I'm kinda punky in ways, but NOT a punk. These stupid quizzes always tell me I'm punk, and I'm so sick of it. It's bad enough that i'm taking quizzes on labels, cause i don't like them, but now they're narrowed down to about 3. It's bullshit (haha, surprise. not.)

the bell rings!

supergirl gathers her stuff n runs to world studies

Your Sexual Energy is Orange!

Your sensuality is flashy, energetic, and in your face.

You draw attention to yourself without even trying.

You are 100% sexy, and people respect you for it.



While you are incredibly seductive, you don't wear your raw sexuality.

You keep all your most carnal urges inside, and no one's the wiser...

Well, except for a select few :-)



Your talent is working your date for a long time before you actually give into sex.

You love that first look, that first kiss, that first touch...

After hours of bliss, you'll finally take your date back to your place.



Spice up your sex life by owning your sexuality - and flaunting it!

How about some public exposure, or some bathroom play?

Just add in some wild creativity and your fun will be tripled!



Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz are perfect examples of orange sexual energy.



Look out for people with brown, gray, and red sexual energies - they are perfect for you.



What Color is Your Sexual Energy?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

I'm just a cool person. People like me.


Why do people read your Livejournal?
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It's so funny how when you're so disraught, air seems like poison. You just sit, devoid of breath, and it's so natural. When tears shake you, your throat just just closes and breath seems unneccessary. Everything is so quiet when you don't hear air pounding in your ears. When your body gives way and a frigthened gasp seeps through your mouth, it feels cold and unnatural, like it doesn't belong. You can't continue because it feels like arsenic coursing through your veins. You just want all the air out of your chest, you can't stand the empty space inside of you. Your body begins to shake slightly, the air that shoots out has grown hot inside of you, and you take in another sharp breath, trying not to let it last too long.

Everything's so fucking quiet.